This is the story of
Frantic Chant......so far
Stazy - Vocals,
Colmac - Drums, Nick - Guitar, O'Hara - Bass
The myth that is
Frantic Chant has often provoked outrage, from the likes of Tiger
Tim Stevens as well as Pope, but nigh is the time to set these
preposterous claims to rest.
Born the bastard son
of Country legend Cleetus Pickens and his P.A. Dean Friedman, Stazy
packed his bag and thanked his lucky stars that he found an escape
in the form of a Pygmy Dance troupe from
Russia
. This led to international acclaim across
Europe
and
France
as the tallest dancing pygmy in Russian history. After ten
years of looking down he decided to try his luck in
America
so repacked his back and moved to Little France with dreams of a
bigger
France
and the perfect band.
After a bizarre
accident in the garden shed whilst retrieving a windcheater, Colmac
broke his neck. He took up the drums during his enforced
recuperation period and has never looked back. The most
politically outspoken of the band,
Col
is behind a lot of Charities including the recent 'Lock Up Jim Kerr'
campaign and is currently involved with the 'Bring Back Curtis
Stigers' campaign which has so far has only seen the return of his
sax. In his spare time,
Col
likes to hook up with Billy Sloan to talk about Sting and that.
Cols' motto is 'Never shove yer granny when she's shaving'.
Born on the small
Scottish
island
of
Musselburgh
, previously famous for being the only town Al Jolson stepped foot
in during his '1935 potato famine awareness' tour. O'Hara
initially found employment as Mr. Han's right-hand handyman on the
aforementioned Mr. Han's Han's
Island
. After being handed his P45 by Mr. Lee and Mr. Braithwaite he
retreated to Southern Italy where he began writing colouring-in
books. While relaxing in on his balcony, overlooking the
Nile
, he decided to try his hand at Bass playing. Due to a lack of
music shops in Italy, and the fact that Bass playing was frowned
upon, he cashed in his royalties on his hit novel 'Tommy the Doms
Wizard, deaf, dumb and daft boy, sure plays a mean double-six' for
the first train-flight to Edinburgh.
Knock-kneed guitarist
Nick Paul, born at an early age in a lonely cattle shed in
Memphis
, was greeted on his arrival by the Three Wise Men of Chant who upon
him bestowed gifts of Yardley Gold, Blue Stratos and my own personal
favourite Hai Karate. In his late tens, he decides to embark
on a long, highly troubled journey down Leith Walk, dressed in his
finest Top-Man white suit. In this manner he proceeded up and
down the long street singing a selection of David Essex hits.
It was during one of these he days he was struck by a bottle of
White Lightning and when he awoke he held aloft in his hand a solid
silver plectrum with the mysterious imprint D.E. embossed on the
back. Taking this as a sign he decided to start a band.
The rest is his story.
Was it fate, or was
it meant to be but these four chancers had a dream to change the
face of rock n' roll forever..... and ever!
3 February 2006
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